I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
