if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
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