You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
