I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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