is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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