covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
