shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
