Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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