he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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