I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
