My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
