I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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