Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
