we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
