Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
