we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
