grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
3 2 1 whiskey
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
