my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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