and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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