just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
