Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
