I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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