I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
