I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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