I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Ladies don't puke and tell
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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