make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
