Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
