yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just google imaged poop.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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