just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
