R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
