I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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