Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
