North Korea, Best Korea!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
