when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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