billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
