ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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