I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
