Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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