My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
