so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
