You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
