That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
