break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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