why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
