You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You can't motorboat a personality
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
