How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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