Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
