he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
