after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
