He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
