I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
