She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
