no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He has the fingertips of a God
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