That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
