Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
me + whiskey = a bad person
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Such a big mess for such a small penis
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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